I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
smell my finger.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize