Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
