god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
being pregnant is like rehab
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
