U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
