the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
