Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
