Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
