If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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