he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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