Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize