You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
