Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
