i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
