I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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