grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize