dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
