it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i will never coherently bang her
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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