your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
