WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
