Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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