Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize