shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
