So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
