The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
