i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
