thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
