there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
