Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
