Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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