physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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