So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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