But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
