I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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