Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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