I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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