I just made out with a guy for $7.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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