Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
