I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
