May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
