just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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