The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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