I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
