We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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