this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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