I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
