I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
try to milk me bitch
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
