come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So much rum. So many feels.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
