Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize