My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
