So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
