i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize