she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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