You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
