i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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