Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
