I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
