Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize