Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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