I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
