If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
