I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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