Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
