you didnt know i had herpes?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
