420 ftw
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it's like iHOP with fire
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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