Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
