I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
